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Throughout this journey we learned three things we would like to pass on to you. Before we start we want to say that these aren’t “Three Easy Steps To Shine the Light of Christ in Difficult Times”. There aren’t any steps for times like this and if there were they wouldn’t be easy. These are just some things we learned along the way.

1. You need Jesus.

As I mentioned earlier, we had prayed for Lizzie throughout my entire pregnancy. I fully expected a healthy, happy baby. When things began to look bad, I still thought everything would be okay. However, as things began to get worse, I began to doubt. I doubted the effectiveness of my prayers. I doubted the healing ability of God. I doubted the presence of Jesus in my life.

When we finally arrived in Amarillo; exhausted and emotionally drained, I knelt down beside my bed in the Ronald McDonald House and prayed honestly. I told the Lord about all my doubts and all my fears.

I finally asked these questions: “Am I going to continue to believe in You? Am I going to go on believing You are real and involved in my life? Do I want to go on trusting in You?” After what seemed like only a moment, I answered myself, “Where would I go? Who would take me through this? I will follow You.” Later I realized those were Peter’s words to Christ – to whom would we go?

An immediate peace came over me in that instant. I was still afraid for my baby’s life, but not afraid I had been forsaken. After this moment of crisis in my faith, I prayed two very specific prayers. I prayed for us to sleep well that night, and I also prayed for Lizzie to be comforted the next day, as only God can comfort an infant undergoing MRI’s and other testing. I told no one, not even Stacy what I prayed. I wanted God to answer my prayer to reassure me in my weakest moment.