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I would surrender LizBeth to Christ each night before going to bed. (Father, I know she belongs to you, but I love her so much. I know you love her more, but I really want her to stay with me. Oh, Lord, I surrender LizBeth to you. Give me the grace and the strength to accept whatever may happen. Amen) However, every time LizBeth would stop breathing, I would pray, “I’m not ready. I can’t do this. I know what I said, but I can’t. Please, oh please, don’t take her.”

This is the roller coaster I rode in the NICU for the first month. God did not disown me. God did not rebuke me. God gave me the strength I needed for this journey. You cannot have the peace or the strength of the Holy Spirit unless you have repented and believed on the Lord Jesus Christ. Oh how sad it is to see someone going through such grief, and know they have no relationship with the Lord.

As time went on and we were allowed to decorate the area around Lizzies’ bed, a nurse approached us and said this: “You can almost feel the presence of the Lord around her bed.” She went on to say that some nurses would come to read Lizzie’s Angel Board throughout the day. This Angel Board was made by several ladies from our church. It was very pretty and pink, but the most wonderful thing was all the Scriptures that covered it. We encouraged ourselves by reading these verses aloud to Lizzie. Many nurses in the NICU would jot down the Scriptures from this board and then take them to other patients.

We volunteered to pray with other families. I have said all this, not because we’re perfect or because we became perfect in the NICU, but because of Jesus we were able to shine for Him. It is truly amazing what Christ did in our lives through what was the most difficult thing we had ever been through. He deserves all the glory. He is truly amazing.